Part 1 of 2: Building Love Through Actions
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Find a balance in your relationship. Relationships are all about finding balance. Balance will help you stay in love with each other, and should keep your boyfriend from feeling suffocated, a common complaint of guys. Focus on finding a balance between the following three ideas:
- Routine and spontaneity. Remember to make a fun routine out of some of the things you and your boyfriend love to do, but remember to switch it up. Friday movies are great, but so is going to monster truck race, even if it interrupts your normal routine.
- Love and lust. Love is selfless, timeless, and forgiving. Lust is selfish, brief, and unforgiving. In a relationship, remember to give, even as you take. Do things that satisfy your desires, but make sure the other person's desires are satisfied, too.
- Speaking and listening. Take the time to listen as much to your boyfriend as you talk at him. He may need to be taught things from time to time, but he probably knows plenty that he can teach you, too. Remember the saying: "The foolish man speaks; the wise man listens."
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Do something spontaneous that shows your love. The world is your oyster. Think about the things your boyfriend would love to do/get, and use that as a guide. If he's not expecting a gift or surprise, it's more likely to make a big impression.
- Does your boyfriend like sports? Is he an adrenaline junky? Get the two of you a pair of tickets to a local football, basketball, or soccer game. Take him to an amusement park and ride as many roller coasters as you can in three hours.
- Is your boyfriend the hopeless romantic type? In touch with his sensitive side? Get him an old Philip Larkin or John Keats book of poetry and inscribe something on the cover: "With all my heart — the love that flows through these words is meant just for you."
- Is your boyfriend the outdoorsy type? Take him on a camping trip and snuggle up with him in his sleeping bag. Or maybe take him whale watching or bird-calling in your local Audubon Society.
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Leave a thoughtful short note in his lunch kit or shirt pocket. Say something straight from the heart, and let him know how you always want to be there for him, no matter what. Make sure the note short enough so that he doesn't feel obligated to write you something back if he's hassled by it. Try something like this:
- "Hi there. Just wanted to let you know how absolutely special you are to me. Every morning, when I wake up, I think about how lucky I am to have you. You make my head spin — in a good way! I think I finally know what love is, thanks to you."
- "Peekaboo! What's round and furry and handsome all over? You! Just joking around.... What can I say, you put me in such a happy mood all the time. I really hope I do for you what you do for me. Please tell me if that ever isn't the case. Thinking about you...."
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