Know How to Find a Good Love

Love is so elusive that it can seem like the quest to find it will never end. We know it exists, because others have it, but the path can be so murky that it’s tempting to give up the search. There are no surefire steps guaranteed to bring you love, but if you follow this guide, you'll be headed in the right direction.

Part 1 of 3: Know Yourself

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   Understand what you have to offer. Love means sharing yourself with someone else who accepts you for who you are. Before you can expect someone else to accept you, though, you must know what “self” you are projecting. You might start by writing down the answers to these questions. Your answers will help paint a picture of the “you” you are offering to your potential partner.

   • What are your best qualities?
   • What do you like to do with your time?
   • What do you love about yourself?
   • What would you like to work on?
   • What makes you feel uncomfortable?
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     Build confidence. Whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, a hilarious crowd pleaser or a very kind friend, be confident about what you have to offer someone else. When it comes to finding love, there is no right personality type, no special trait that will get you ahead. Contrary to what you might see in romantic comedies and sitcoms, everyone has a shot at love - not just the most popular or conventionally attractive among us. So know what you have, and own it.
   • 3
     Know what you’re looking for in someone else. Part of knowing yourself is knowing your relationship needs. Writing down what you consider to be the most important traits of your potential partner is a good way to figure out what you actually mean when you say you’re looking for love.

     • Try not to be too specific with this list of traits. For instance, instead of saying “six feet tall, brown hair, dark eyes,” focus on personality traits that matter to you. Do you want someone who’s honest to a fault? Someone who shares your passion for books?
     • It may also be helpful to write down a list of definite “no’s.” For example, you might not want a partner who travels six months out of the year, or someone who doesn’t get along with your family.
     • Remember that the point here is not to craft a projection of your future partner; you’re just sketching out the basic qualities you’d enjoy having in a partner so you can understand your own needs better. Chances are, the person you end up loving will only have a few of the qualities on your list.
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on Monday, July 6, 2015